Do you ever feel like you don't "fit"? Is it OK?

I thought really hard about writing this post, but finally decided I just might get some great advice from those out there in blog world or other places that kind of "get" where I'm coming from.

 

I could make this reeeaaalllyyy long, but seriously, this isn't a diary, so I'll just start from now.  I've evolved my furniture painting hobby into a business, where I now have a space in a store with a lot of great other vendors/decorators.  I also have cruised the blog world and seen many different styles.  Through this process, I've always kind of been waiting for those in this business to discover I really have no idea what I'm doing.  I mean, I know what I'm doing when it comes to painting, I think I've learned TONS over the years but I'll just have to finally admit and say, my style is way different.  You see, I don't like stuff.  You know, lots o' stuff that sits on tables and up high on cabinetry or hogging all the clean space on my kitchen counter tops.  Don't get me wrong, I see other spaces and really admire them for the ability to accesorize like that.  But, I finally realized, it's not that I don't have the ability, I just don't care for it in my space.  Here are a few examples:

 

 

My living room.  I've decorated frugally, the coffee table, two end tables, my TV dresser (which you can't see in this pic) are all salvages that I have redone.  The mirror is a Goodwill find which I painted to add some color.  The bannisters were all painted a bright white by me to spruce it up.  I had every intention of making curtains from some great fabric I found, but found these for a steal and couldn't resist. 

 

 

The view from my living room into my kitchen.  Except for the few Halloween decorations Emma just put there, just one candle and a picture frame.

 

 

The view of the kitchen.  This is in the process of being redone.  The walls will be the same gray as the living room.  I just painted the island black and distressed it.  I just bought the stools second hand and am trying to decide what color to paint them.  (any thoughts?)  The cabinets will be painted Old White.  And, there is just enough left in the budget for new counter tops.  (any thoughts on color?!)  But, besides my Keurig, paper towels and some bananas (and my purse I just spotted sitting there!) nothing on the counters.  I normally don't even have those hand towels hanging from the stove, but my husband did that.

 

 

My bedroom.  I don't even have anything on my night table besides a lamp, my husband at least has a clock.  The two pictures hanging there are 2 of 3 in the whole room.  I do, however, have a nice stack of laundry I just noticed on the bench at the end of my bed!!

 

 

See that big open wall, yup, nothing there.

 

 

The entrance to the bathroom.  Oh, I did forget about those crazy candle holders that have been there for 8 years.  (reminder....gotta replace those with something else!)  The other picture, I just have to show you a close up because it's my favorite:

 

 

This is one of our wedding pictures, the first kiss at the altar.  Anyway, back to business...

 

My point is that I've been stressing myself out for over a month trying to find, make, figure out how to fill my space with small stuff. 

 

I worked at the store this weekend and after just walking around in there, around and around and around and around, I finally realized, it's just not me to have an eye for "stuff".  But, most importantly, it's not because I'm lacking or don't know what I'm doing, it's because I don't decorate that way.  And, that's OK.  That's MY style.  Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOOOVE all of the things I've seen, I'm not sure why it didn't all sell in one day, all of it!!  I appreciate the different styles I see, but I need to have confidence that just because mine is very different, it's still good. 

 

It's weird because I love all things vintage, shabby, redone, etc...but find the choices I make for my own home are more modern that I think I am.  I, of course, didn't show you all the pictures.  I have redone pallets hanging on my walls, a wooden apple crate at my door to catch shoes, an old picket fence hung on my wall with photographs, it's not all bare, but it's not small stuff, you know?

 

And, most importantly, will someone PLEASE tell me what color to paint those stools???  I want to paint them ASCP Louis Blue to pop off the black, my husband...notsomuch.